Marijuana, assassin of youth
And so look now here's the truth
As we wish you all a Perry Sherry Christmas
With a Partridge Family or two

And when you go to church
You'll remember with a smirk
All the crazy little things you used to do

"...Let's have a truly Mexican welcome
For Ronnie and the Romeos..."

I asked my girlfriend to marry me
Yes I thought how happy we'd be
I knew she'd be thrilled at least be pleased
But these were the words she said to me

You need a haircut and then a degree
Don't you want to start a family
Take a stand and make some real cash
Sell your guitar and throw away your stash

I had a headache lasted five days
I knew that somehow there must be a way
Cleaned the car and emptied the trash
Before she got home I had to get smashed

I moved out on my own formed a new band
We played every Goddamn dive in the land