He says he's got the new record

Pretends he follows the news

He's got his finger on society's pulse

He's got it somewhere, that's true

Soul, jazz, folk, funk, indie, and hip-hop

He leaves no genre unturned (Hey, hey, hey!)

Play the right track, she'll be flat on her back

That's the music lesson he's learnt

He wants to put his radar on you

It may not seem so at first

At first, it seems he's the man of your dreams

Then takes a turn for the worse

Just 'cause he speaks a bit posher

Than you and all of your friends

Don't think he's after a different thing

When daylight comes to an end

He's probably gonna spin you some line about jazz

How he loves Dizzy and Chet (Hey, hey, hey!)

But John and Paul hanging up on his wall

Ah, that's about as jazz as he gets

He wants to put his radar on you

It may not seem so at first

At first, it seems he's the man of your dreams

Then takes a turn for the worse

He wants to put his radar on you

And he'll suggest it real soon

But first, he'll wind, dine and show you good time

That's why they call him the groom

And just ask him if he wants to come round in the morning

And just watch his pathetic face drop

'Cause vampirical schemers come complete with a warning

They're only ever guided by frock

His mum and dad thought that he was trekking the world

Playing in a travelling band

He was sitting on a beach, playing air guitar

With a coffee and an outstretched hand

He wants to, he wants to

He wants to put

His radar on you

He wants to put his radar on you

It may not seem so at first

At first, it seems he's the man of your dreams

Then takes a turn for the worse

He wants to put his radar on you

And he'll suggest it real soon

But first, he'll wind down and show you good time

That's why they call him the groom